Losses

You never said you’re leaving,

you never said goodbye.

You were gone before I knew it,

and only God knows why.

A million times I’ve missed you,

a million times I’ve cried.

If love alone could have saved you,

you never would have died.

To some you are forgotten,

to others just part of the past.

But to me who loved and lost you,

your love will always last.

~Author Unknown

On July 14th we had a very unexpected trip to the ER when I started hemorrhaging at home. Unsure of why I was bleeding they ran several blood tests that determined we were expecting again. I had an ultrasound and we were surprised to learn that I was about 8 weeks pregnant and we were able to see our baby and hear his/her heart beat. It is amazing how fast your mind can start spinning…pregnant??!…can I handle months of bed rest again?? can I endure another c-section?? ….to…it will be ok….we can handle this…will Emma have a new sister?…on and on. Then on to learning that things do not look good for the baby; to bleeding uncontrollably again; to being wheeled back to the OR and being knocked out for a D&C. Then on to trying to recover not only physically from the blood loss but onto dealing with guilt and anger and more guilt and anger. We have made it through now four losses over the years and definitely does not get any easier…Four treasures in heaven.

“For A Moment”

I saw for just a moment, your little arms and legs. The little blur they said was you, but now you’ve gone away.

I heard for just a moment,the beating of your heart. The sound that held such promise, but soon it would depart.

I dreamt for just a moment,of the day I’d hold you tight. I’d listen for your little breath, and rock you through the night.

I cried for just a moment, when they said that you had gone. I laid alone in silence, that seemed so very long.

I prayed for just a moment,that you would be reborn. Into my arms you would come and forever would be warm.

I was for just a moment, the mother of a child. Who laughed and cried and ment so much, if only for a while.

In that single moment,when I finally said farewell. I knew that we would meet again little baby for time will only tell.

(c) Michelle Ann Burch